I am obsessed with order and so I don’t think I’ve
written a poem without starting with a title. In the affirmative: I always
start with a title. That title is usually reflective of a “thesis
statement,” but working to support a thesis often results in poems that have a
lot to prove and not much to say. And so the work, for me, is in moving away
from gathering evidence to support a preordained thesis and toward putting
together words that express something, either through their form or meaning,
about a subject or concept suggested by the title.
This
“work” happens mostly in my head. I write down the title, in a notebook or a
Pages document, and then I stare at it while I break down the very thesis-y and
unpretty thoughts into more natural and, hopefully, pretty words and phrases.
By the time I start writing or typing words under the title, I usually have a
good sense of the first half of the poem.
Then
I get to my midpoint, which is the midpoint for no reason other than I have
gotten to it. Usually the midpoint doesn’t really end up being the middle. At that
point I continue in dribs and drabs, but always in one relatively uninterrupted
writing session, always fighting the urge to return to the thesis model.
For
instance, in this poem, “Chunnel,” I was
sitting in a train moving through the Chunnel and I liked that word as a title
and I had seen a boy yawning and had lots of thoughts about the ways in which
children and adults yawn, and so I put something resembling this down in my
notebook:
a stranger looks like a boy but yawns like
a man
children yawn freely
little lions roaring at their tiredness
he shows restraint
jaw tense, cheeks taut
ashamed of his fatigue
From
there, I had lots of repetitive ideas and example to support my “claim” about
The Differences Between the Yawns of Human Children and the Yawns of Human
Adults, and I likely became frustrated that none of these ideas translated
themselves elegantly into poetry. But, because my commitment to order requires
completion, I continued to stare at the page until I pivoted into memory:
I was last on this train as a boy
expecting to see fish under the Atlantic
expected to read the map for my mother
And
then ran with the memory and the fish into the present and abstraction:
now, fish surround me
one raises the armrest between our seats
and leans its head on my shoulder
I’m not sure I’m moist enough
to keep its gills from drying up
At
this point I felt that I could reward myself for moving far enough away from my
initial thesis by returning to it, but through the self-reflective lens I had
established in the second stanza:
I’m tired too
but my jaw clicks
and my cheeks
This
poem happens to end mid-thought, which is a good way of stopping myself from
leaning too hard into a formal, evidence-based conclusion.
Misha
Solomon
(he/him) is a queer poet in Tiohtià:ke/Montréal. His first
chapbook, Florals, was published by above/ground press in 2020.
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